Hotch the Serial Killer
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: After work, Hotch is more than excited to get Emily home alone but one small problem arises on the way there.


A/N: Hi :-) Thank you so much Hotly81173 for this great prompt and helping me with the story. Your support is so great. ;-) I love you!

I don't usually write humor so bear with me lol. Please reveiw! Positive or negative, I will accept it. :-) Thank you for reading.

HOTCH THE SERIAL KILLER

After work, Hotch is more than excited to get Emily home alone but one small problem arises on the way there.

When their long day at the BAU finally slowed down, Hotch and Emily were ready to go home. The two had been living together, along with Jack, for nearly a year. Any time they were allowed some alone time, they jumped at the chance. This particular evening, Jack had gone to a roller skating party that would be followed by a sleepover, so Hotch had plans of his own.

He was looking forward to getting Emily home and undressed. He watched as she leaned over her desk as he made his way down the steps from his office. She was beautiful and he couldn't take his eyes off the curve of her ass.

"Hey, are you ready to get out of here?" he asked, walking up to her desk, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Aaron Edward Hotchner, is that all you think about?" she asked, putting the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

"Well no" he replied with his 'puppy dog eyes'. "I wouldn't be able to help solve these cases if it was all I thought about Emily" he said sarcastically.

"Uh huh..." she said, snickering.

He moved closer to her, whispering. "Come on Em. It's been nearly two weeks, except for the night Rossi caught us in the bushes, and that doesn't count."

She smiled, not being able to resist his pitiful expression.

"You poor thing" she said just as she could have sworn she heard him whimper. "Let's go Aaron" she said and she began to walk toward the elevator. "But I'm tired so take it easy on me."

"I can't make any promises" he said with a grin as he followed behind her. Approaching the elevator, Emily suddenly remembered a promise she had made to Garcia.

"Damn, I forgot to stop by and see Garcia before I left. I won't be long" she informed him, seeing his disappointment.

"Can't you call her?" he pleaded.

"No Aaron. I won't be but a minute. If you don't want us interrupted by a phone call later, then be patient baby" she told him with a sexy smile. "You go ahead. We drove separately anyway. I'll be right behind you" she promised.

"You won't be later" he teased, with a wink.

Emily grinned and shook her head at him. "I'll be there soon"

With a frustrated sigh, he caved. "Okay. I'll see you at home"

"Okay" Emily replied, turning toward the hallway as he entered the elevator.

"Hey Em" he said, peeking out the door, as she turned around. "Hurry!" he whispered as loudly as possible, giving her that dimpled smile.

She laughed at his enthusiasm, heading straight Garcia's lair. Ten minutes later, she was finally out of the building. She was craving Hotch as well, she just wasn't as vocal about it as he was. However, she would make sure he knew how much she had missed him by the time they had gone to sleep.

Hotch was Hotch. Just like at work, if he wanted something, he made sure that was understood. He was the same with Emily. He missed her. It was hard to see her all day long and not be able to kiss her or touch her like he did at home. He, of course, knew it wasn't the place for that kind of conduct but it didn't stop the feelings from coming. It had worked out well for both of them to keep the job separate from their personal relationship. If either of them were hurt in the field, it was one of the rare moments that their emotions appeared. But what happened in the field, stayed in the field.

On his way down highway, Hotch was thinking about getting home, changing clothes and fixing himself and Emily a drink. He thought she may like to relax a little and not have him to just take her at the door, though she never complained before.

His mind then floated to the thoughts that he couldn't and didn't want to push away. He saw her under him, her hair thrown back against the pillows as she moaned and...

The sound of a siren broke his concentration, prompting him to look in the rear view mirror. Turning the wheel slightly to merge over for the emergency vehicle approaching, he saw the police car pull behind him with their siren still blaring.

"What the hell?" he said aloud.

The state trooper stayed behind him until Hotch come to a complete stop on the side of the road.

"This _can't_ be happening" he said, completely shocked. He didn't think he was speeding. If he was, it wasn't more than five miles per hour over the speed limit.

He watched as the tall man approached the side of his car. Rolling his window down, he looked up at the officer.

"Evening officer. Can I help you?" he asked sincerely.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" he asked as Hotch became unusally at a loss for words.

"Well...I thought..."

"License and registration please."

"Yes of course" he said, handing the policeman his registration from the glove box, then reaching to the back of his pants finding an empty pocket. His brain quickly retracted his steps during the day, bringing a very uneasy feeling to his stomach. He looked at the officer who was carrying a stern look as well as Hotch himself had given numerous times. "I left my wallet at the office. Sir..." he said, opening his door and beginning to get out.

The policeman stepped back with his hand on his own weapon. "Don't you move! Keep your hands where I can see them!" Hotch halted his actions, now halfway out of the car. "You need to get back inside of your car Sir."

"Officer, I'm an FBI agent. My name is Aaron Hotchner. My badge and wallet are in my trench coat at Headquarters" he said truthfully.

The policeman laughed. "I've heard some stories but this one takes the cake. You do realize that pretending to be an FBI agent is a federal offense, do you not?" he lashed out at him.

"Of course! But I'm telling you the _truth_, I _assure_ you" he said frustratingly.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna need a little more assurance than that Mr. FBI. Close the door slowly, turn around and put your hands on top of the car" the officer told him.

"Sir..." Hotch began.

"Turn around and put your hands on top of the car!" he repeated, this time more harshly.

"This is ridiculous" Hotch muttered, but did what he was asked. The man did have a gun.

"Quiet unless I ask you a question" the officer said, patting him down. "What kind of FBI agent doesn't carry a gun?" he asked sarcastically.

"The kind that's having his gun repaired" Hotch replied with a smart ass tone as he looked over the top of his car, seeing Emily pull along beside them and then to the side of the road in front of the other two vehicles. Emily knew he didn't have his wallet when she saw that he'd been the one pulled over.

"Thank God!" he said, relieved.

The officer looked to his left and saw Emily running toward them. "Hey..." he began when Emily yelled.

"FBI! Thank you so much officer!" she exclaimed, approaching them both, holding up her badge. "This man just escaped my custody!"

"What!?" Hotch yelled as his eyes widened at her. "Em what the _hell_..." he began as she took his hands from the roof of the car and cuffed them behind him immediately, speaking over his words.

"Pipe down GQ!" she told him, enclosing the cuffs tightly around his wrists, shoving him against the side of the car.

"Watch how you talk to a lady" the officer said, taking up for Emily.

"Lady!?" Hotch said, struggling against the handcuffs, knowing he didn't mean his last remark the way it sounded. "Officer this is my girlfriend. She's an FBI agent also." he tried explaining, not understanding what the hell Emily was doing.

"Yeah buddy...sure she is. Don't we _all_ wish she was our girlfriend. And I know she's an FBI agent. Her little badge and gun gave it away" he said, leaning over closer to him. "I don't know what kind of drugs you're on, but you've got one good story after another" he said, laughing. "What's this Don Juan into?" the officer asked Emily, stepping back out of her way.

"This is Herbert Rudolph. He's what you would call a freak. He loves women, especially when they're marinated and tendorized first." she told him with the straightest face she could work up as she gazed over Hotch's firm ass that was poking out from under his suit coat. She couldn't wait to touch him when they got home and this 'roughing him up a little' really turned her on.

"Damn. Hate I asked" he replied, filling out Hotch's speeding ticket to add to his apparent list of charges, including murder. The officer didn't have all the needed information but the car was a start.

"Stop this and tell him who I am!" Hotch said, clearly becoming upset.

"I just did! Don't be so narcissistic Herbert! I doubt he wants to hear the rest of the gory details anyway" she said, watching Hotch's temper escalate.

"He's got quite a mouth on him, that's for sure" the cop said.

"Oh yes he does!" Emily said as Hotch heard the layer of arousal in her voice, knowing her thoughts were completely unprofessional.

"Officer, do I look like a serial killer to you?" he said loudly.

"Well no" he said honestly, noticing his nice suit and neatly combed hair. "But neither did Ted Bundy" he said, leading Emily to nearly lose her composure.

"Let's go!" she said, pulling Hotch toward her car.

"Very funny Emily! Let go of me and straighten this out!" he warned her as she came to a stop and turned to face the officer. She burst into laughter, turning back to Hotch, who was obviously not ammused. He was carrying a glare she had seen many times before but Emily stood there knowing it was all worth it.

The policeman followed along, laughing as well, when he realized it was a joke. He had recognized Emily immediately but her actions when she arrived fooled him as well. "How have you been Emily?"

"Good! How have you been Jason?" she asked as Hotch stood in amazement as she hugged the policeman.

"You mean you know him?" Hotch said, showing his jealous side.

"Yes I know him Aaron. This is Jason Carter. He lived in my first apartment building" she said as his jealousy subsided. "By the way, this is payback for last week's little prank of yours." she informed him with a smile as he rolled his eyes and sighed.

Hotch wasn't normally a prankster, but Reid had coaxed him into one prank and he found it hard to stop. Feeling humiliated, Hotch was already piecing together his next attack on Emily.

"Please get these things off of me" he asked politely, though his true thoughts were conniving.

"Hey you dish it out Hotchner, you gotta take it" she teased, receiving a look of deception from him. She released the cuffs and gave him her sweetest smile.

"Don't even try it Emily" he whispered. "Payback is a bitch" he said. "Though you'll enjoy part of it" he added with a husky voice.

"I thought pranks were just something we did around our offices" Officer Carter told them. "Never thought they would do that in the FBI."

Ignoring Hotch, though her thoughts about his last remark clouded her mind, she turned to the officer. "Oh yeah. The guys started it and now they just may be in over their heads" she told him, eyeing Hotch. "This is Aaron Hotchner and he _is_ an FBI agent." she said, pulling his trench coat from the back seat of her car and giving Officer Carter Hotch's ID and credentials.

The officer finished filling out the needed information and handed the ID and credentials to Hotch. "Well, good one Emily" he said, handing the speeding ticket to Hotch.

"But I thought this was a prank!" he said, taking the paper, looking down at it.

"Well _her_ part was a prank. You were still speeding and even FBI agents don't get away with that off the clock" he explained as Hotch frowned. "I clocked you at eighty-five in a seventy zone" he said as Emily looked to Hotch, shocked. "_Fifteen_ miles over the speed limit. You're lucky you get to keep your license" he said as he walked back to his patrol car. "Good to see you again Emily."

"You too Jason" she said as they both watched him return to his car, knowing he wouldn't leave until they both did.

"How did you know about my coat? he asks curiously. "And how did you know my wallet and badge were in the pockets?" he asked before she could answer the first question.

"Because as I was leaving Garcia, I remembered that you weren't wearing it when you left, so I went to your office to get it. When I pitched your coat to the back seat, your wallet fell out" she informed him. "What's got you so rattled Aaron?" she teased as he remained quiet, giving her the evil eye. "Ready to go?" she asked, wearing a permanent smile as he eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, you go ahead. I just wanna clear up a couple of things with Officer Carter. I'll be right there" he said.

"Oh...ok...ay" she said, confused. "Are you mad?"

"No Em. I'm not mad. It's all part of the game. Just expect payback when I get home" he said, giving her a small kiss and a wink. "I see you soon."

"Okay...no speeding!" she reminded him firmly.

"Very funny" he said, kissing her again.

Emily got in her car and drove away, watching Hotch in the rear view mirror until he was out of her sight.

Hotch walked up to Jason's patrol car as he was rolling down his window.

"We men have to stick together right?" he asked smoothly as he leaned against the outside of the car.

"Well, yeah sure. What's your plan?" he asked, not being able to resist the fun of the game he'd come to know so well himself.

"Well this one is a little more personal this time" he said with a grin. "You see, I left my handcuffs at..." he began when Jason finished his words.

"Headquarters...I know" he said jokingly. "Here you go" he said, handing him an extra pair of handcuffs from his car. "Don't worry about getting them back to me" he said. "Have fun" he yelled out the window. Hotch walked to his car, then drove away, finally heading for home.

On the drive home, Hotch had to admit that this was one of the best pranks he'd seen yet from the whole team but that fact only motivated him to improve his game.


End file.
